For the past couple of weeks I have had several things rattling around in my head that I felt like I needed to post. I have tried, but they inevitably ended up as drafts. The words just didn't come out right. Then I finally realized that it was because it wasn't what God wanted me to say. I'm not always the sharpest crayon in the box.
I'll have to admit that it really isn't something I'm comfortable sharing. I just tend to be the sort that keeps things to myself. Then I read Leah's post over at The Point. And the conviction was even stronger. God wants us to be transparent. He wants me to be transparent.
I will have to be honest with you, for the past several weeks I have absolutely been in the strongest grip of fear that I can ever remember being in. I became ill with some sort of virus that lasted about three weeks. Soon after that a young woman in our tiny little community was abducted. On the very same night there was also an unrelated murder. And a high speed police chase. We rarely experience serious crime in our small town, much less three events all in the same day. Then I read on the internet about a horrific car-jacking incident that ended in the deaths of a young couple. There are so many victims. So much evil. And our country is changing before our eyes, on a downward spiral. The list goes on and on. Turn on the news for five minutes and you'll be overwhelmed by all that is taking place. Combine the physical illness with all of the above and I became a basket case. And before I knew it, there I was paralyzed by fear. The fear that our community is no longer the safe place that we thought it was. The fear of not knowing what in the world will happen to our nation. The fear of something happening to my family. Fear begets more fear. And I am ashamed that I feel this way. It has been a struggle. Proverbs 29:25 tells us that, "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." I have let my fear of man become a snare. The enemy knows our weaknesses.
I know that God is Sovereign. I know He is always in control. I believe it with all my heart. That's why this has thrown me for such a loop. But I know that God did not give me a Spirit of fear. So I am clinging to Isaiah 41:10: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
5 comments:
You are not alone, my friend. I went through the same thing just after Kristi was abducted. Saw a terrorist behind every lightpole, etc. Did not sleep for several nights. Satan really did a number on me too. And I HATE it.
The Bible study that I am leading in Sunday school is speaking greatly to me. The Frazzled Female. In the first week we focused on developing an intimate relationship with Jesus, which I have. However, I was forced to examine and renew that relationship and encouraged to trust Him even more deeply. The subtitle to the study is 'Finding Peace in the Midst of Daily Life' and that is exactly what I am doing.
I am praying for and with you.
I love you and I miss you. See you soon.
Leah
Hi, Cindy
I came to you via Lisa Shaw's blog.
I am in a struggle with fear myself. Only my fear is what may happen next....Fear to trust the Lord. we lost our 16 year old son, Joshua, in a car accident -November 15, 2003. Since that date I have been in a struggle with the Lord.
I keep telling myself that I may struggle, but I still Believe.
Cindy,
I lived a life of FEAR from my childhood into my late twenties, early thirties --serious gripping, crippling fear and GOD delivered me. I still at times have to go to His feet when fear creeps upon me again. The enemy tries hard to stop us! But we DON'T belong to him we belong to the LORD.
I applaud your transparency. It's often the first step toward our deliverance. Hold on tight to the LORD. Meditate on Scriptures that bring you peace, and speak of His protection (shield, refuge, rear guard, do not be afraid etc) and trust Him each and every day that no matter what happens GOD IS ORDERING YOUR STEPS.
Go deeper and deeper still in HIM and as we do that blocks out fear.
Much love.
Cindy,
Keep those verses in your head and in your heart. God is always with you. The Bible tells us if God be for us then who can be against us?
I honestly can say that fear is something I have experienced often in my past. I still do struggle with fear. God is in control and we belong to HIM. He will not foresake us.
Praying for you my sister in Christ.
In God's Amazing Hands,
Bren
You are not alone dear one! Fear has single-handedly kept me in it's grip many, many times. And then, because I've gone there so many times, when *situations* arise, it seems comfortable to return.
Cling to the Scripture Cindy. Your last paragraph is so precious. His Word is Truth!
Much love.
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