Domestic Diva

I have a confession to make: I am not a domestic diva. More like a domestic disaster. And I am not like the Proverbs 31 woman. I so want to be. I am so scattered that I will begin to clean in one room, go to another room for something I needed and then find something there to distract me, so that I just sort of wander around aimlessly from room to room, wondering why I am there and wondering why every room in my house is messed up.

And don't even get me started on cooking. I have never enjoyed cooking. My mother and sister have always been fabulous cooks and they enjoy it immensely. When we were little girls, I would always beg not to have to cook, but would promise to wash dishes instead. It isn't that I can't, I just don't like it. Somehow, I think the love of cooking skipped my genes or something. My husband used to say that when I called my children for dinner, they immediately went and got in the car. I take a lot of good-natured kidding from my family about my lack domestic skills.

When I do cook it's usually good, but more often than not, something goes wrong. One night after it had snowed most of the day I decided that we needed something warm and comforting for dinner on this cold winter's night. My husband loves my homemade chicken noodle soup so I decided that it would be the perfect meal for the night. Soup and a yummy cake of cornbread. I got out my ingredients and was already anticipating how delicious it was going to be. Then I realized that I had everything I needed, except the chicken. Chicken noodle soup with no chicken would simply be noodle water and my man is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and I knew he wouldn't go for vegetarian noodle soup. So I reverted to Plan B; sandwiches. But the night just called for something warm so I opened a can of Campbell's™ Cream of Mushroom soup to go with the sandwiches. It's good soup, but I decided that I could tweak it a little to make it taste more homemade. I added some cheese and a shot of worcestershire sauce and a few other things and was delighted with my creation. Until Robert and I actually sat down to eat it. I added too much worcestershire sauce and it was very strong. And it wasn't very good. But Robert ate it anyway, he's good like that. He did have one comment: "That's why Campbell's™ makes their soup the way they do, because it's edible". It didn't even hurt my feelings. I know it was bad.

One time not too long after Robert and I were married I attempted to cook chicken livers in the oven. It was a fiasco. It was a disaster. But Robert ate them anyway. The dog took one sniff, turned up his nose and walked away. He was having no part of this meal.

Then there was the time when Robert asked me to make him a strawberry cake. And being a good wife I was more than happy too. I baked the cake, (it came out beautifully by the way) and was letting it cool before I iced it. He wanted a piece right then so he pleaded with me to go ahead and ice it. I tried to explain to him that it really needed to cool before icing but he just couldn't wait. So I made the icing and iced it. Of course the icing wouldn't stay on the hot cake very well, but it didn't matter to him. He finished his cake and closed the cake up in it's container. By the next morning the cake had grown hair. Apparently because it hadn't cooled properly and then was completely covered it caused some sort of mold to grow. Imagine our surprise. Robert couldn't wait to tell his family. That happened over 25 years ago, and they still like to remind me of it.

Or the time that I caught the oven on fire while I was cooking cornbread. I could go on, but I just don't know how much more you could bear to read. By now I am sure that you are so mortified and embarrassed for me that I'll just quit there.

Aren't you glad that we don't have to be perfect or even good to come to God? If that were the case none of us would stand a chance. Look at Psalm 130:3: If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? (NIV)

Jesus took our sins and nailed them to the cross. If we confess our sins God doesn't keep a record of our mistakes and blunders. He won't remind us of something we did 25 years ago. Micah 7:18 and 19 says :

¹⁸ Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.

¹⁹ You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

Oh, and by the way, Proverbs 31:15 says: "she provides food for her family". It doesn't say she always cooks for her family. Could she have possibly gotten take-out sometimes like I do? Maybe there is hope for me yet.

Care to share some of your kitchen disasters with me?